20 Things Non-Fashion Guys Would Like Explained

I write articles about all sorts of issues, from relationships to movies to life. People often say, "Why don’t you guys keep your articles to menswear," or "This isn’t bad, but menswear is better," or "If you slit your wrists, nobody would go to your funeral, you stupid, worthless motherfucker."

Well, truth be told, I don’t know a whole lot about menswear. I am essentially the janitor of Four Pins. They keep me around to take care of the things that nobody else wants to. They tell me to kill the rats, so I kill the rats. And hey, it turns out that I actually like killing rats. But I figured I'd throw you all a bone for once and write an article about menswear. It's a fashion article from my point of view—the real questions I've been pondering and been too afraid to ask. So hold onto your ascots, shit's about to get really real i.e. pathetic.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.

  • jamie

    i don’t find this guy funny at all. maybe it’s just because i saw his twitter background.

  • http://www.screvvface.com/ SCREVVFACE

    “Or are you guys just 19th Century prostitutes trying to hail a john? There must be some reason why pants haven’t gone past the ankles since 2010.”

    Got me fucked up

  • I.B. Basic

    Self-deprecation is hilarious.

  • Guillermo Junior

    Dick ovens is Rick Owens the designer lol but im sure you knew that already

  • letsfuckupthebum

    “wowee guys wear skinny jeans!” “holy shit men roll up their pants? must literally suck dicks mirite my dudes?” “DAE justin bieber? rofl” put out good (or even original) content next time homie, this article is just some trash that will alienate like 80% of the people who even bother to read pins

    • Angelo

      damn bro never write a comment again or my keyboard warrior skills will manifest into real white boy ninja skills and i come down thea and fuck you up.

      • Styles Pee

        Holy shit, dude, ohmigod, wow, omg rly, u r too fucking funny!

        White boy ninja skills! Hilarity! HILARITY!

        fucking pleb.

        • Ekwinoks

          Are you using pleb. As an abbreviation for plebeian?

          • Guest

            Thats what I was thinking

  • chingy

    charlie work, my dude.

  • VintageMickeyAvalon

    “Is that what a dick oven is?” lol, sorta!

  • T. Hakeem

    Lool, sometimes the sarcasm in these pieces are a bit much. Can always appreciate innovative design in any art industry, especially in fashion where some take risks that everyone can instantly judge and critique. But how in the name of Captain America can a plain (albeit kinda long) white tee be $120?!?! Even with Kanye’s name attached it… that I don’t get =/

  • bigdaddyemmm

    “What Is Trill And How Has Someone Been It?” –– someone has been trill since being trill was even something to be

  • fuccyouraunty

    what swears are those?

    • TJay

      Thom Browne my guy

  • Master Pee

    Yo, you stopped trying to do a character, and just started trying really hard to be funny about 8 slides in, and, at that point, this shit started reading like the linings of a Midwestern open-mic comedian’s diary. Lay off the fucking question marks, too.

    You have a decent job. Quit sucking at it.

  • Dubs

    First time visiting this site, will also be the last. This article was lame as hell and the attempts at humour was pathetic, writer must be 18 or younger right?

  • joshtheghost

    “So, does this guy want to eat my soul or what?”

  • gb

    Does this web site have an editor? This and every other “story” on here are filled with typos and sentences that don’t make any sense. There were a few funny jokes in here, though.

  • ism

    Hahahaha the candle slide was hilarious! “Sacrifice her to the devil” is the first time I’ve laughed out loud while reading something on here!

  • BOOGA SNITZLE

    Try again.

  • Newportshawty

    Fuck the gay shit, r.i.p. Pimp c, white tees n dickies til i die