Hey guy, Fashion Week is over! Aren’t you exhausted? Oh right, we stayed at home and just followed a bunch of jaded people on Twitter and Instagram that complained about how tedious the whole endeavor really is for those "not in the know". So, we’re actually tired because life is slowly and inexorably beating us to death.
Maybe you actually got a few invites this year! Maybe a struggle brand sent you a notebook in exchange for a post on their Pre-Pre-Fall collection of artisanal bottle openers and hooked you up with a VIP invite—front row in some warehouse space somewhere in Manhattan that looks nothing like Manhattan, but more like Pittsburgh that looks nothing like Pittsburgh, but more like Pittsburgh that looks like Gotham City. The kid on Tumblr you message all the time finally got that internship with Todd Snyder and he put you on the list. ON THE MOTHERFUCKING LIST, BRO. But are you really gonna pay for a plane ticket and drop, like, at least a G bar on a shitty hotel that is "cool," but still charges you $8.99 a hour for Wi-Fi despite labeling themselves as a "luxury" establishment? Nah, you sat this one out and are gonna hit ‘em hard next season when you’re killing the game.
See, right now you’re a second-tier blogging nobody. Maybe some fellow benchwarmers know the name of your blog, but they don’t know your Christian name. So, how do you step your blog game up? You’ve basically been a free publicity service for the past four years and now's about that time when you should start charging people for the same quality of work. HOW DO YOU UNDUE YEARS OF DOING WORK FOR $FREE.99? Take it from me, a paid writer working for the greatest menswear site to ever bitch slap the Internet, I’m in the perfect position to help you out. Here are 10 simple steps any idiot can follow to get themselves swimming in invites, writing gigs that pay 8 cents a word and all the free tote bags your tiny, little arms can carry.