The Schnauztorialist

If you live in NYC and you have a dog, we both know the truth, it’s just a living, breathing accessory to you. I’m sure you eventually grew to love it, but come on, how the fuck do you have a 110 pound chocolate lab living in 600 square feet and you only walk him twice a day? It’s no wonder why you have such a fat fucking dog. Whatever, I’m not here to judge, I’m here to be a slave for your entertainment, so I bring to you Found My Animal leashes to have you and your pup showing out as the trendiest tag team on the block. I mean, do you see these ombre leashes?! You two will be on The Schnauztorialist in no time. As to how you actually wear these things, it’s so obnoxious that Four Pins can’t cosign that information—you’re on own with that one.