The Most Pretentious Films Of All Time

Do you feel like you’re a profound visionary? Do you roll your eyes at the “cute” remarks from your simp-minded friends? Do you watch French New Wave porn? If you said “yes” to any one of these questions, you might be a suffering from what’s called “Being A Pretentious, Condescending Asshole.”

But it’s okay, you’re not alone. One in every ten Americans is a pretentious, condescending asshole, including many acclaimed dignitaries of film. In this very article, you will find some of the most painfully self-indulgent entries to the cinematic canon. Some of these films I love, and some of these films I hate, but all of them carry a false sense of profundity so great, they put Bono to shame.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.

  • TEENWOOLF4U

    YOU’RE NOT A CREDIBLE FILM CRITIC IF YOU HAVE 48 TWITTER FOLLOWERS FOH

    • Lawrence

      Says the anonymous professional troll with zero Twitter followers. C’mon, man. You can do better.

      • TEENWOOLF4U

        LOL I HAVE ONE BILLION FOLLOWERS DAWG YOU CAN’T DO BETTER.

        • Lawrence

          In that case, Summer Style Tips? Won’t you be the Ulysses to our Jake Davis?

        • KCKing

          Tell me your secrets to success, you social media mogul.

  • Sorry

    I love you four pins, but there are so many films on here that are amazing. I would’ve liked a post that went after film school cliches or films that film school nerds love to name drop without actually understanding… instead this article chooses the most random assortment without any real narrative or theme behind the choices. Bottom line, some of this flicks are unfuccwitable.

    • Lawrence

      You’re wholly entitled to your own opinion, homie.

    • The Great Incredulator

      Nothing is “unfuccwithable” in pop culture, especially. NOTHING.

  • queb

    This post is the poop torture, not Salo.

  • Prog

    Coen on slide eleven.

    Sleep? During a David Lynch movie? ALL OF THE NIGHTMARES

  • Hitch Cock

    Haha that Trip to the Moon shit was pretty good. Nice one Matt.

  • Hitch Cock

    Haha that Trip to the Moon shit was pretty good. Nice one Matt.

  • DeezyHatesHoes

    this list<<<
    I wonder if the writer knows the definition of "pretentious"

  • Chris

    Shit article.

  • Julie

    Melancholia would sit pretty well in this list too. And as a french person, you can shit on Godard all right, but on Méliès ? What if people think you’re serious ?? (and some Americans could)
    Also the list lacks some Johnny Depp movie

  • I Am The One Who Knocks

    Dear writer: You are simply an idiot, re: The Deer Hunter

  • Mark

    Was expecting Drive.

  • mark vail

    you’re a fucking idiot.. think harder, you fuck!

  • gooched

    Basically this is one guy trying to be cool ranting on films he’s too dumb to get.

    • Marco Poloni

      Except Avatar, even mushrooms would understand it.

    • Marco Poloni

      Except Avatar, even mushrooms would understand it.

  • Hunter

    Bad Deer Hunter analysis

  • Stephen Sebastián Chacon

    TROLL ARTICLE

  • Slapabitch

    Matt Rimer needs to quit and then rethink his career choice. His writing sucks a bag of dicks

  • djkruvand

    I agree with the reviews to a certain extent. But answer this Matt Rinner, what is it that you watch?

  • http://theatlas.co/ The Atlas

    THANK YOU. Requiem for a dream is so pretentious it hurts my soul

  • http://www.technologycharge.com Sachin

    Please spell Terrence Malick’s name correctly. Thank you

  • Sam

    Way off @ Deer Hunter tho.

    • Sam

      And where is The Brown Bunny… The definition of a ridiculously indulgent/pretentious movie.

  • P-rob

    This is terrible!! Who even wrote this?

  • Devan Prithipaul

    This list is more like the best movies ever made.

  • Austin

    You do realize that A Serious Man is the Book of Job right? Or did that shit go over your head?

  • fghhj

    a Stanley Kubrick film is pretentous?

  • Christa

    This list is amazing, and just made my day. Me and my brother just sat and read this and agreed and laughed for a good half hour.

  • Marco Poloni

    Avatar and Mulholland Drive should never be on the same list. NEVER.

  • nathan

    I would have put Steve McQueen’s Shame would be right up there on this list.

    • nathan

      Grammar, my good is.

  • Jeremy Schep

    I’d like to see what you regard a good movie, Mr. Rimer (I.E. This article sucks)

  • Brandon Ucanan

    The writer is a dumb piece of garbage

  • César Pires de Sousa

    i just bet this are the top movies of Matt Rimer.