The Ridiculous, Non-Stop Flexing Of Dan Bilzerian

I don't even know what do with myself anymore. We like to talk about flexing a lot on Four Pins and even do a bit of it ourselves, but—MOTHERFUCKINGGODDAMN—this man, Dan Bilzerian, is truly on another level. I would venture to say he is "on one", but nah, this dude is clearly on several. Dan is a 33-year-old multimillionaire who has made his riches through gambling, mainly of the high-stakes poker variety. And, while most men can only dream of a life that involves, but is not limited to, lavish cars, booze, houses and, of course, women (like, all of the womens), Dan is living it.

At least he is trying his best to. See, at age 33, Dan has suffered 2 heart attacks and a pulmonary embolism, all of which were likely cause by his physical inability to turn down and, we can only hope, a killer cocaine addiction. Homie even completed Navy SEAL training, only to get kicked two days before graduation out for calling his commanding officer a pussy.

Based on your perspective on life, Dan is either the greatest human man of all time or the biggest douchebag of all time (we lean towards the latter because all that objectification of women is a little too turbo for us). His high-octane lifestyle certainly comes with its perks, but, at the end of the day, he's pretty much everything that's wrong with a country full of gluttonous, Entourage-raised, American males. On some level you have to wonder if this is all an act (the man has pictures of goats all over the fucking place), but between the bloody photos and general medical trauma he's endured, that seems highly unlikely. See some of Dan's greatest flexes above and be sure to follow him on Instagram to feel jealous, angry, sad or some combination of all three.

  • Ghost of Jam Master Jay

    I can only dream of being so rich that one day, I too can afford such expensive prostitutes. Sorry, I mean escorts.

  • ポケモントレーナー

    Dan Bilzerian is an American venture capitalist, poker player, film actor and popular Instagram personality. Wikipedia

    • DD

      “Ching chong, bing bong”-Aziz

      • ポケモントレーナー

        LMFAO

        • DD

          Glad somebody can take a joke

  • tony cojones

    dan livin

  • dj

    he wouldn’t be objectifying women if those women didn’t want to be objectified. yuh feel

  • leutrim

    That’s all cool, but what’s up with all the fucking guns?

    • http://youtube.com/user/IDU4ffe/ Alfred Nordahl

      That’s right – he fucking hoes on boats…
      With guns. Literally.
      It’s called “baller dildos.”

      • Anthony Sykes II

        Reminds me of a killer scene in the Bible Black sequel

    • Dillon

      Because guns are awesome, you communist! #MERICA

  • Selorm Amuzu

    A rapper does this and he’s the scum of the earth lool

    • tujamo

      that’s “white guilty”

      • DD

        Thats called the truth, same thing goes for Nashs comments, and the fact that mfs be mad Hovito raps about art

    • Howle

      Damn i really just tried to upvote this comment twice my guy.

    • Powerhawk5000

      Plenty of people saying he’s a scum of the earth tool.

      • Selorm Amuzu

        A rapper does this and he gets :
        - Pressure groups on his ass for no reason
        - TV time saying he’s the scum of the earth from other scum of the earth

        He does this, he gets
        - plenty of people calling him the scum of the earth from the internet

        tool.

        • Xv

          You gonna cry about it? lol seriously quit dick riding rappers broke boy

          • Selorm Amuzu

            no but i do see a bitch crying over my opinion

  • WAVY

    Horrible taste on every picture tho. They say you can’t buy class…

    • Dillon

      No, he says it himself:

      “Los Angeles-based poker player Dan Bilzerian, 32, describes himself … ‘When I was a kid I never wanted to be classy, I just wanted to be rich.”

      S/O to a guy staying true to his standards

  • Arutyun Arutyunyan

    2 heart attacks and a pulmonary embolism? Damn… deals must have been made.

  • squatty

    what a cheese dick

  • Austin

    Live fast die young I guess. Im finna live 3 hunna years and have my brain transplanted into a robot body

  • Larry Thompson

    I nominated him for the coveted alpha douche award. May his douchieness permeate all of chotchdom.

  • Dillon

    I just want to point out that Entourage was a great series.

    Somewhere along the line America settled for mediocrity and we should celebrate cringe self-hatring hipsters on “Girls” and whine about our feelings instead of setting measurable goal and go out win in life.

    Fuck that feminism bullshit. #AMERICA baby

    • DD

      YEAH!! AND FUCK MODERN FAMILY!!

  • ~X~

    douche? sounds like hate to me, who wouldnt want to live a life like that?

  • thughandles

    Why are all the 4pins writers white guilt, feminist fuccbois? Can you write atleast one article w/o chucking your agenda in there?

  • Michael Boamah

    Calm down. What’s wrong with Entourage ? Don’t hate the player …

  • choatsy

    He’s only wealthy because his dad is, hes a bitch.

  • squatty

    four pins, you cheesedicks

  • Jonas

    I don’t think I could ever be friends with this guy. But who knows maybe there’s a (very very small) chance that he’s different in person than his pics.

  • Guest

    Oh come on.

    …”because all that objectification of women is a little too turbo for us”

    Who the eff cares. He’s a dude, and dudes wanna be surrounded by hotties at all times. What the $#$@ is wrong with you.

    If a girl wanted to be surrounded by half naked guys at all times, you wouldn’t say it’s objectification of men. That said, she’d probably be a victim of a double standard and people would call her a slut, but that’s another issue.

    Back to the original issue, it’s plain old heterosexuality and he’s doing all he can to enjoy it. Awesome.

  • Michael Taiwo

    author too beta to diss some feminists.