My Family's Best Rejected Four Pins Pitches

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Complex Original

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My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by Hurricane Sandy. I was evacuated from my apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey late Sunday night and have been staying at my parents' house in northern New Jersey since then. The entire tri-state area has been dealing with unprecedented disaster and my parents have been nice enough to take in all the members of my family currently without power, heat and various other elements essential to life. I have no idea when I'll be allowed back into my place, as Hoboken currently lies beneath a river of contaminated shit and broken glass—the National Guard is still evacuating the headstrong bros who regarded Sandy as nothing more than one of their annoying ex-girlfriends. But, like some of those same annoying ex-girlfriends, she was actually a vindictive whore bent on complete and total annihilation. Being off the grid for an extended period of time has really disrupted my work flow. With our office building closed down until further notice and the Four Pins team scattered and struggling, the site has taken a hit. As the guy who pretends to run things around these parts, I've put on my best leadership hat and decided to soldier on for you, the readers. Since my loved ones have a cloudy idea, at best, of what I do for a living I figured it made perfect sense to gather them together for a quick Four Pins article brainstorming session. Presented, without tampering, are my family's best rejected Four Pins pitches.

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