Monocle’s Combat Training Tips For Your Winter Getaway

Have you just finished planning that sick Winter getaway? Is the only thing you’re missing something to read while you’re killing time in the first class lounge sipping champers and talking investment banking with foreign people? Well, then you need to be reading something ostentatious as fuck. Look no further than Monocle’s latest Alpino edition. Regular Monocle is for people who act like they care about cozy cafés nestled in a quiet corner of Somalia. Or that the only thing keeping some city in central Europe from really making it is a solid public transport system and more bookshops. Monocle's Alpino newspaper, on the other hand, is for people who don’t know how Priceline works because they pay someone else to buy airfare for them. They also still say things like "airfare" and they actually use the ticket pocket on their sportcoat and own multiple Leicas. I have no idea why you need an expensive ass newspaper but fuck it, you don’t really need that waterproof tote bag that doesn’t zip closed either. THIS THING FEATURES COLD WEATHER COMBAT TRAINING FROM JAPAN'S ELITE SNOW PATROLS.

  • http://so-not-original.tumblr.com john

    BAVARIAN LEIDERHOZEN SON!!!!!

  • http://mbarkman.tumblr.com/ Michael

    This is brilliant. You’ve put into words that uneasy feeling you get when you read a monocle. Like it’s cool but you kind of can’t help yourself from laughing.