How To Make It Seem Like You’re Having The Perfect Spring Break On Social Media

For students, spring break is a wonderful time of year. It's a time to get a week or so of relaxation at home before heading back for the final half of the last semester. For some students who somehow manage to have thousands of dollars to spend despite the fact that they should be broke college students, it's an excuse to go to a tropical paradise and party all the time. Usually after their Floridian excursion, these people light up Facebook with hundreds of pictures of them in bathing suits. During the vacation, they are constantly posting on Twitter and Instagram about how great a goddamn time they are having. I'm having just as fine of a at my home in suburban New Jersey, but you don’t see me accosting every person I see, telling them about how many jellybeans I ate today (13). There is definitely pressure to make it seem like you are having a "cool spring break" while on spring break that, quite frankly, I'm sick of.

If you aren't going to Florida or Mexico, don't sweat it. It's okay. Put the cyanide pill down, you're going to live. I mean it. Put the pill down and I'll tell you how to make it seem like you're having a wonderful spring break on social media, the gladiator ring of our time. Please put it down, so I can start my tips. Please? For me? Put it down. Super! Here are my day-by-day tips. Hey, wait. Don't pick that back up. Put it down. Super! Okay, and now back down again. Down. Down. Down. GREAT!

If you're just hanging around your house during spring break and feel like a chump, here are some tips to make it seem like you had a rad time on social media.

Brendan O'Hare is attempting to be a writer and comedian while living in NYC. Follow his comedy jokes on Twitter here.

  • Q

    Lost interest at #5.