A Day In The Life Of An #Influencer

Before anything at all is said here, I just want to give a major shout out to the beautiful, kind people at Cadillac. Like, when you guys want to wine and dine someone, you really go all out, and I thank you for your generosity. You also make fucking nice as fuck cars. Sure, my judgement may be clouded by all the wine, food and luxe living quarters you gave me for free last week, but also maybe nah? I mean, who's to say, really? From my honest perspective, the 2015 Escalade is a dope ass ride.

While I don't know much about cars, truth is, I also don't know that much about being an #influencer. At least not in the Marcus Troy sense of the word. See, as I came to learn, some people do these press trips all the time, but this was my first such excursion of relevance. And it was awesome. Like, seriously, if you're not an auto journalist, switch careers. And just to reiterate this point, Cadillac is good peoples. I repeat: CADILLAC GOOD. GO BUY ESCALADE. IT NICE CAR. Above, I've chronicled my day—a day in the life of an #influencer—to give you a peek into the type of high-end, wonderful shit that actually goes on during press trips.

  • taylormarlowe

    I should buy a Cadillac.

  • C

    Funny shit dude! Dug it. Grammar police note that slide seven should read, “so I make do”, rather than, “so I make due”.

  • TJay

    fuck that first captain tho smh

  • kingleeroi

    face it, you were really channeling TC in No.7

  • fuckyeah

    I’m buying a fucking Cadillac

  • @rayp_photos

    i really hate the white hipster wanna be Harlem world Been Trill lingo used… funny, but you’re influencing others to speak the same way

  • Sweg

    What kind of shoes are those in the second pic??

  • Dillon

    It aint Moy tho

  • pizzapants

    lmao @ your chain falling off. enjoyed this piece

  • JB isGay

    retarded

  • Jones

    Son… this lowkey actually made me want to buy an escalade. Gimme like 5 years.

  • Booyah Boy

    Why cadillac gonna make such a fly whip and den go all cheap on the interior. Interior on dis excalade bitch look lik a 03 yukon

  • tnreagan

    I RIDE WITH HONDA SINCE DAY 1 RIDGELINE IN THIS BITCH.
    YOU WANT OKAY GAS MILEAGE IN A TRUCK? I GOT YOU, B
    YOU NEED TO TOW A BAY BOAT? I GOT YOU, B
    ICED OVER HIGHWAYS FROM FT WORTH TO DALLAS? FOUR WHEEL DRIVE GOT YOU, B
    GOT BODIES TO HIDE? SECRET TRUNK IN THE BED GOT YOU, B

    FUCK AN ESCALADE I RIDE WITH HONDA

  • paperbagmonster

    Hahaha this is fucking hilarious. Not “Journalism”, but I’d read your stuff any day.

  • bosstopfrmdao

    never been crazy about woolf’s prose but god damn this was funny and he has good taste in chief keef tracks and that hairline is nice as a bitch

  • Cristina

    haahha you made my day!

  • Nic

    this has made me consider a $30,000-$65,000 investment in a Cadillac and all it took was the Woolf

  • Anthony Sykes II

    Was a bit upset about someone drinking all my Almond milk out of the fridge but this made my morning much better. Thank you Woolf, now get rid of that Good Music hoodie!

  • I Don’t Golf Though

    for your libation lexicon: a boozy Arnold Palmer is called a John Daly #themoreyouknow

  • C

    Thanks for dueing the right thing.

  • squatty

    woolf is a fag that doesn’t know shit