10 Things Dads Actually Want For Father’s Day

*Gun shot* *gun shot* *Funkmaster Flex yelling "Ya nah mean?!" and other various rap soundboard samples* Grand Archduke Slanderson is back in here to deliver you some really real dad darts on the eve of what should be a month long celebration of Fatherdom, but instead is just one weak ass day where we get shitty macaroni letter cards, cardboard ties and all kinds of other shit that gets Frisbee'd into the trash with the quickness. Nah, nah, psych. I love all the handmade joints from the youths. I'd even argue that most of that stuff is better designed than 82% of the stuff featured on here. Not only are my wisdoms used for all kinds of life guides on lavish categories, but did you know your boy is also a prestigious father?

I own one children. His name is Yung Lenox. He's 6 and already outshining me in all areas of life. I ain't even gonna go into all that cause that's for another day, but my resume with kids makes me the most Clark Griswald out of anyone here at Four Pins, so I'm gonna rain a thunderstorm of knowledge drops on to your headpiece regarding some things dads like myself actually want for Father's Day.

If you are seeking a convenient list of 10 things that you can easily cop from the J.Crew at your nearest mall, this is not your jump off. I give four thousand negative shits about clothes and I will swiftly deliver the crazy disappointed Cliff Huxtable face if anyone steps to me with some bunk ass gifts on my day of Dadness. What we have here is a very considered list of both tangible and intangible gifts that your pops actually wants. Follow me.

Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. See more of his work here and follow him on Twitter here.

 

  • Luchini

    This is v appropriate for the new dad. My near-2-year old is a King, but shit, sometimes I just want to take a fucking nap yo.
    Here’s another tip, download the “AnyList” app and install it on your wife’s phone too, then “share” your wish list, you can’t get any clear or more blatant than that.

  • petrit

    Anybody else notice how much of bigghostfase’s style Skip Class copies ? In case if you don’t, be sure to just read an excerpt from http://bigghostnahmean.blogspot.se/ and then go ahead and make your call.

    • Skip Class

      Hi Petrit – I’ve been writing in this “style” since 2007. So feel free to go ahead and “make your call”.

    • Michael Di Gennaro

      what big ghost is to music,

      skip class is to lifestyle advice.

      AND BIG GHOST IS A GIFT FROM THE HEAVENS

  • Randy

    “Cleaner than Jada Steven’s anal tunnel”
    ..dead